Do You Remember Me?
by DeathByOTP
Summary: Inspired by a tumblr headcanon by mishkacas, link ( Also inspired by Twist and Shout by gabriel and standbyme. Cas can remember Dean from the first time they met. Cas dealing with Dean not being able to remember what they used to have before, some will be sad, some will be happy and there's a trip to the beach.
1. Chapter 1

"Ya know what we need?"

"Dean I swear to God if you say beer…I just bought some this afternoon. You can't have drank it already"

"Keep your hair on Sammy. I was gonna say a holiday"

"That sounds nice Dean" Cas piped up.

"We don't exactly have much time for that though really"

"Aw cmon Sammy. I don't mean anywhere too far, just maybe a weekend at the beach or something cause we've never been"

Without thinking Cas blurted out "Yes you have. You loved the beach"

"I've never been to the beach Cas, neither has Sam. Are you okay man?"

"Yes Dean I'm fine. I got confused is all" Cas tried his best to cover up what he had just said. Of course Dean didn't remember the beach, he couldn't remember anything. "I think I mistook what humans call a beach"

Dean knew something was off but decided not to push it. "So what do you say? Beach?"

"Okay okay. I'm in" Sam let out a small chuckle.

"Cas?"

"I suppose I am in as well Dean" Cas really did want to go but it would be hard with Dean now. He wanted so badly to walk along the sand, fingers entwined with Dean's. The beach was their happy place and the probably the best memory they both had. But now Dean doesn't know it, Cas blinked hard to push back small tears that were threatening to fall from the corners of his now hazy blue eyes.

"Awesome I want you both awake and down here for 6am in the morning. I want to get me some beach time!"

"Well I had better get some rest. Goodnight Sam. Goodnight Dean" Cas didn't hear their responses, he left the room in a hurry trying to get back to his room before he cracked. He closed the door of his room and knelt before his bed. One hand scrabbled under the bed and retrieved an old wooden box, his face was overtaken by a bittersweet smile as he opened it. Inside it was their old Polaroid camera, the letters he had written to Dean, the letter Dean wrote back, some film and Polaroids. Cas picked up the polaroids from the beach and cradled them for a moment before laying on the bed and leafing through them. As he looked tears rolled down his cheeks but a small smile remained fixed on his face and that is how he fell asleep that night, he dreamed of waves crashing onto the beach.

—

Dean was the first one up, he walked to Sammy's room then knocked loudly before throwing the door open."SAMMY! Get your lazy ass up. We are going in 25 minutes" Dean ran off just narrowly being missed by the pillow Sam had just launched at him. Dean made his way to Cas' room and knocked a little more politely but still pretty loud, "Castiel get your feathery butt out here we're going soon!" Dean started to open the door.

"DEAN! You can't come in yet" Cas sounded frantic and Dean could hear him rustling things around. Dean made a confused noise. "You can't come in cause I'm dressing"

"Okay man cya downstairs in 20 minutes"

Cas breathed a sigh of relief. The Polaroids were still spread out across the bed, That was a close call. Cas gathered them back up. He slipped them back into the box except one, he put that in his pocket and made his way downstairs, with the old camera tucked carefully under his arm.

—–

They were almost at the beach, Dean had been singing for the whole journey, he even sang their order into the microphone at the drive-through where they got breakfast. Cas sat in the back of the impala smiling, it was good to see Dean being so happy, it made him think of the first time they went to the beach. Sam started out pretty grumpy, probably due to Dean's unsubtle wake up call, but as they got closer to the beach Sam joined in singing too. Maybe today wouldn't be as hard as Cas thought.

—-

Finally they were at the beach and after finding a suitable parking space for Baby they headed towards the sea front. Dean's eyes glittered at the row of arcades and the fast food stands. Sam stood staring at the light brown sand and the murky blue water, it wasn't as vibrant as he imagined but it was one of the best sights he had ever seen. Cas watched Dean until he was snapped back to reality by Sam and Dean having a childish argument about what to do first.

"Cas you agree with me right? Food, then arcades and then beach? I don't want sand in my pants while I'm eating"

"Dean we need to go check into the hotel…"

"You're such a buzzkill Sammy, that can wait"

"Maybe we should check in, we can put our things in the hotel and then if you get sand in your pants you can just change them?" Cas tried his best to steer Dean towards the more sensible option without offending him.

"Dean c'mon"

"Fine but it had better not take long" Dean pouted slightly and headed towards the hotel following behind Sammy. "Coming Cas?"


	2. Chapter 2

"These doughnuts are so good, try this Cas" Dean thrust half a glazed doughnut at Castiel. Dean's own mouth was full of doughnuts but he managed to mumble "Sammy, doughnut?"

"No thanks, they're nothing but sugar"

"Live a little, we're on holiday!" Dean flung his arms out to either side and narrowly missed hitting a guy still queuing at the doughnut truck. The man shot him a dirty look. "Sorry man my bad" Sam was doubled over laughing, Dean shot him a disapproving glare. "Alright alright, bitch" Dean shoved Sam playfully. Cas started to chuckle, Dean quickly turned his attention to Cas. "Oh you want some too?"

"Run Cas" Sam shouted, he had set off running up the beachfront, his laughter echoed behind him. Cas started sprinting towards Sam, Dean charged after them both. Feet hit sand kicking up a cloud, Dean tackled Sam and sat on his back.

"I can still catch you, no matter how tall you are" Dean taunted Sam, Sam grumbled about sand being in his shirt but he was grinning.

"Jerk" Sam mumbled.

After a while of fighting on the beach they headed to the arcades, Dean was sulking at the amount of sand in his clothing so Sam and Cas agreed to go with him. Dean immediately ran towards a boxing game and a test your strength game, Sam made a beeline for the claw machines and Cas happily sat himself down at a 2p slot machine. Dean was soon heading back over to Cas, he had an arm full of tickets.

"Wow that's a lot of tickets Dean, how did you get them so fast?" Cas questioned, he seemed genuinely impressed.

"Cause I can kick all kinds of ass, that machine wasn't tough enough for me" Dean joked, flexing his muscles in a mock bodybuilding pose. Cas laughed, somewhere in the vicinity Sam started to complain.

"What a load of...No don't drop it I just...Oh come on! I had that one"

"Not doing well Sammy?" Dean gloated.

"It's fixed, that's the only explanation" Sam made a less than polite comment before storming over to Dean "If you're so good you do it"

"I could do it with my eyes closed, step out of the way"

"Be my guest" Sam gestured to the machine that was slightly out of sight. Dean went over to it and Sam began to watch Cas, he was about to win a little cat keyring.

Less than 5 minutes later Dean returned with a stuffed animal. "Tell me that isn't from the claw machine, no way did you win that, you must've been cheating"

"Sammy please, I won it cause I am just that skilled" Dean winked and handed the stuffed moose to Sam, he could've sworn steam was about to shoot out of his ears.

"If it's not fixed then I need to win on my own" Sam ran back over and started on the machine again.

Cas looked up at Dean with wide eyes "Did you really win that?"

Dean looked around before leaning into Cas and whispering "Nope I bought it at the shop with tickets just to screw with Sam, but shhh that's our little secret"

Dean woke abruptly, his throat was so dry. He swung his legs to the side of the bed and made his way to the mini fridge, with a beer in hand he sat by the window. The wine sea rippled in the slightly yellow light of the street lamps, Dean could just make out a figure walking towards the railing near the beach. Once illuminated by the yellow glow Dean knew the figure at once. Castiel stood facing out to the sea, he wondered why Cas was out there at 3am and he intended to find out.

Once dressed Dean made his way out of the doors into the bitter night, the sea breeze swirled around him biting at any exposed skin. He walked as quietly as he could until he was closer to Cas.

"Cas?" Dean spoke quietly.

Cas sniffed and his voice wavered "D-Dean?"

"Cas are you crying?"

Cas looked away into the darkness so Dean couldn't make out his face. "No"

"Cas what's wrong?" Dean reached out to Cas and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "You can tell me anything"

"Nothing is wrong Dean"

"I know you Cas, I know when you're not alright"

"I'm fine Dean. You should be indoors, you'll get cold near the sea front with no jacket."

"I want to stay out here with you Cas. I know something is wrong"

"There's nothing wrong but if you insist on staying outside then put this on" Cas handed his trench coat to Dean. Dean would usually complain about wearing some guys coat but he was actually freezing. He shrugged the coat on. "Better?"

"Yeah thanks Cas so come on. Tell me what you're doing out here so late "

"Just admiring the sea, it is one of my fathers creations that always fascinated me"

"Why were you crying Cas?" Cas didn't respond "Castiel?"

"I told you I wasn't, just please Dean stop prying"

"I don't mean to pry Cas but I'm worried about you" Dean put his rapidly numbing hands into the pockets of the coat. His hand brushed against something that felt like a square of card. "Huh? What's this?" Dean removed the object and stared at it. He could only just make it out in the dim light. It was Cas, he was wearing old fashioned clothes, glasses and he was stood in front of the sea, he had an arm around another man. He was taller, had freckles, sandy coloured hair. It was Dean.

"Dean don't look at that"

"Cas, what is this? You're wearing glasses? Is that me?" Dean's face was full of confusion "how could you have taken this? I don't have a jacket like that and you don't wear glasses? Castiel please speak to me this is freaking me out"

"It's nothi..."

Dean spoke more forcefully. "Cas. Don't lie to me"

Cas sighed. He had to tell Dean now, it was unfair not to. "It's us Dean"

"That's not possible"

"It is us I swear. It's us in 1967, we came to the beach" Cas' eyes started to fill up.

"Cas what're you talking about? Dean grabbed Cas shoulder as though he was comforting him and holding on for his life. He was so confused.

"We had a life before this one Dean. We met at a party and we fell in love. We lived together. We were so in love. We went to the beach. You went in the war. You didn't come back the same. You left. I got ill. You came back. I died" Cas spoke it all steadily despite tears rolling down his face.

"Cas are you sick? You're delirious" Dean wracked his brain for any normal explanation.

"It's true Dean. Believe me. When I died I became an angel, I watched over you as you lived the rest of your life, I thought we would be together in Heaven when you died but you chose to become human to help people, but the condition was they erased your memory. But I found you in this life. Just as we found each other in the last one"

"Cas no. That's not true. Why are you saying this?" Dean raised his voice and tears pricked the corner of his eyes.

Cas placed his hands on either side of Dean's face. "Please believe me. I can prove it to you. Let's go back inside and I will prove it to you"

Dean didn't know what to say so he nodded and followed behind Cas back into the hotel. Dean sat on the edge of his bed. "So prove it to me" it came out sharp and Dean felt bad but he was so dazed he couldn't think straight.

"I will be back in a few minutes" and before Dean knew it he was alone. He put his head in his hands and rubbed his temples gently. He couldn't make sense of any of this. It couldn't be true. Him and Cas were lovers? In the 60s? Then they were, what could he call it? Reincarnated? It's impossible. He was alerted to Cas' presence as he heard the rustle of wings. Cas stood before him, eyes red and tears streaking his cheeks, he handed a wooden box to Dean. Dean took it carefully and opened it, there were pictures, lots of them. He flicked through them, pictures of him and Cas, Dean knew it was him in the photos but he couldn't remember any of it.

"I can't remember any of this" Dean sobbed out "why can't I remember? You get to remember"

"Dean I wish you could remember. It's been torture all these years without you knowing who you were, knowing what we had and what we can probably never have again"

"Why would you say that?" Dean's anger bubbled, he wasn't sure why but he felt really hurt. "What now I know you don't want me anymore?"

"No Dean I mean you don't want me" Cas' voice was steely, Dean could tell he was holding back.

"Cas..." Dean patted the bed next to him. Cas perched next to Dean. "Tell me what we were like" Dean's head rested on Cas' shoulder.

"We met at a party, you followed me and asked if I wanted a ride home on your motorcycle. You took me on a date instead of taking me straight home, we got milkshake and fries. And everything just happened so fast. We were very much in love, we couldn't be apart."

"Tell me more"

"People weren't very accepting of what we were back then. I lost my apartment and we moved in together. You were a racer, a very talented racer. We listened to Elvis a lot. We came to the beach for a few days, it was one of the best times of my life."

"Carry on please" Dean interlaced his fingers with Cas' and squeezed.

"It goes downhill after that Dean, you don't need to know"

"Please" Dean spoke so softly and he stared into Cas' eyes, Cas recognised it immediately, it was something he thought he would never see again. Dean's eyes were filled with the same adoration that he first saw about 50 years ago.

"Then you had to go into the war, you never really talked about it but when you came home you weren't the same. You had post traumatic stress disorder and you were drinking, but I stayed. I stayed no matter what, but you deciding it was best to leave. And I didn't hear from you for a very long time." Dean was crying now and clutching Cas tight. Cas' voice wavered as he continued "The next time I heard from you was because of Gabriel. He called you to tell you I was in hospital and that I didn't have long left to live. I never thought you would come but you did and you were by my side to the last second, you even brought Sam and Jess and their daughter to visit me. You sang Elvis with me and you set up a projector so we could watch our film from the beach. I saw you after that too, I saw you when I died and when you found my letter to you and everything you did after that. I always stayed with you"

"Cas I'm so sorry" Castiel cut off Dean's apology and cuddled him.

"It's okay Dean, it's okay" Cas comforted Dean the best he could, they both cried, neither one letting go.

"Cas? Do you have the film and the letter?"

"Of course I do"

"Can I see them?" Cas just nodded and fished the letter out of the box, he handed it to Dean. With trembling hands Dean began to read.

"I will be back in a minute. Just one okay don't worry" Cas squeezed Dean's shoulder and vanished. Dean continued to read until the words on the page were obscured through the thick tears building in his eyes. Cas appeared back with a projector, he loaded the film into it and pointed it to the wall. Their movie played, Dean was enthralled he held Cas hand the entire way through it, they leant into each other neither wanting to let go. The film ended, Cas turned off the projector. "I should be going to my room now, you need time for this to sink in. Goodnight Dean"

"No please. Don't go" Dean grabbed Cas' trench coat sleeve. "You can't show me all that then leave. You need to stay"

"You want me to stay?"

"Cas how could I not? How could I hear all of that and not tell you I'm so so in love with you. I always have been, from the minute I met you. We were in love before right? We can be like that again, but the world is different now. No one will care and when we die then we can be in Heaven together this time. We never have to lose each other again. So please Castiel. Stay with me"

Cas walked towards Dean, Dean met him half way and they embraced. Their lips touched for the first time in this life and in an instant everything made sense. They were both filled with love, in it's purest form, two souls connecting again. It felt like they were melting into each other, as though they were one soul that was divided long ago.

"Cas? I remember everything" Cas couldn't catch his breathe. How was that even possible?

"Dean do you truly remember?"

Dean cleared his throat "Like a river flows, surely to the sea, darling so it goes some things are meant to be" Dean sang softly to Cas.

"Take my hand, take my whole life too. For I can't help falling in love with you"


End file.
